I consider myself a “genuine” case, if that’s appropriate? I’ve been struggling financially since the Summer, and my earnings have averaged less than £100 a week, so……

I simply couldn’t fault the staff at the job centre. They were friendly, polite and very helpful, and unbelievably I would label signing on as a stress free and relatively pleasant experience.
At the end of my time there the chap dealing with my claim said I should ask the front desk for the number to try and obtain a Crisis loan, as I ticked all the eligibility boxes for one.

I said to my audiologist, whose name is Sister Ray, ( whoa! a real life Velvet Underground character, spooky! ) the telephone conversation with the Crisis loan people reminded me of the Monty Python sketch, the Spanish Inquisition. “Are you living in a residential home?” “Do you have any savings?” “Do you like Wig Wags or Quavers?” “Blur or Oasis? Discuss.” Oh fuck off will ya, I’m skint, please give me a cheque! But no, the fucker droned on for over a half an hour, then put me on hold for 15 minutes, waaah!!! He asked me how I pay my gas and electric, I told him via direct debit, “oh well we can’t give you anything unless you pay via a card meter”, thanks a fucking bunch, next time I’ll remember to swiftly change my utilities to the most expensive tariff to be eligible.

Boys from Brazil? bollocks, they’re living in England mate, training people for the Crisis fund call centre. Except these trainers ain’t regular SS officers, no, these bastards got thrown out of the Gestapo, for being extra cruel!
God knows this country’s in a state, mostly as a result of the criminals who rule our society robbing and stealing from all of us, without discrimination. And then they have the audacity to tell us to be thankful for a tiny sum of money that they give back to us, when they stole it from us in the first place!

Well, I got the £90. I had to go to the PO nearest the Jobcentre……along with all the other junkies, drunkies and assorted Chavs (including a very fat person dressed in a wrong way round baseball cap and shell suit, talking like a black person, they must be dreadfully disappointed/and or confused when they look in the mirror) and boy was I pleased to get back on the bus that was a mere 20 minutes late. Sadly there were a few others, older people, that didn’t make it, as they’d frozen to death in the -3 wind, but hey, at least they died amongst friends!

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!